Lineup              Bench

GK Ken            Berardo
RB  Bergman    Rusty
LB  Tommy       AWhite
SW Jacobs       Sean
ST  Darilek        Alex
LH  Jihad
RH Bodo
CM Kneals
CM Bobby
F    #19
F    Biz

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Goals:  Biz 2(4) Berardo 1(1) #19 1(2) Bobby 1(4)
Assts: #19 2( ) Biz 1( ) Bobby1 1( ) Bodo 1(1)
Alloweded: Ken 2(  )

Yellow Pills: Bobby1 1( ) Sean 1(1).

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Bulverde

• 8:45 3 people at the fields does not look good for the FSFC-
• Bobby1 shows up and and gives a very accurate diagnosis of the Bulverde team- "The guy in the wife beater always takes someone out, and they have 2 good players that can only play left footed"
• Kickoff arrives and the FSFC have 9 and Mr. T begrudgingly returns to the net
• As the home team Bulverde gets to choose the ball and they choose a rock hard plastic ball to play on a rock hard surface
• The shorthanded FS open up with a season high string of 15 passes.  things aren't so bad as these guys don't play defense
• Bobby1 goes apeshit taking on everyy defender and causing all kinds of havoc and basically taking over
  
• 10 minutes in a Bulverde forward #7, gets loose in the box and Jacobs blocks his shot and gets kicked in the foot for his effort breaking his big toe
• With 9 guys the FS spend most of the time clearing it out of bounds and wathching Bulverde chase after it
• 15 minute mark, Bobby1 takes on some defenders and hits a long shot that goes for a goal kick.  The keeper shanks his GK and and Bodo is able to corral it at the right side of the 25.  Bodo eventually settles the ball and hits a fucking strike that drifts along the entire frame of the goal ends up buried in the top half of the left 90.  1-0
  
• Tons more defending as we are short 2 players-  AWhite meanders to the field and takes her precious time getting ready
• Kneals makes another one of his runs and gets a ball from Bodo and unleashes a nasty strike from 25 out that is top shelf 2-0
• Kneals proclaims "I popped my Cherry"- And yes its true Kneals finally scored for the FSFC tying MigJet in the goal department
• Awhite finally gets on the pitch giving us 9 field players-  Minutes after AWhite gets on the field, #7 for Bulverde gets in the box, beats Bobby2, wraps a shot under  Jacobs broked foot and ends up a side netter - no saving that shot 2-1
  
• More Bodo and Bobby1 attacking but nothing comes of it and a crap load of defending usually shorthanded.  Romo rolls out of bed and arrives with 5 minutes left in the half and has no desire to get on the pitch until after half as the Madison High School Party was the bomb
  
• Halftime FSFC 2 Bulverde 1
• 2nd half begins with more defending and a couple of great saves by Mr. T, and his lack of sprinting to chase the constant missed shots that are so bad they roll 3 fields away.
• FSFC work the ball well but everything seems to end in a turnover-  goal kicks were received with plenty of space but the ball was always going right back to Bulverde
• Bulverde would bring the ball all the way up to the 18, player would make a final move and shoot wide or try to beat the defender and Jacobs, Bergman, #19 or Kneals would sweep it away
• 25 minutes in, #19 gets control in the middle and plays a ball down the left half to Jihad who chases the ball down, Jihad drops it back to a covering Kneals who finds a wide open Bobby1 at the top of the 18,  Bobby1 takes a couple of dribbles and hits a cracker that the keeper dives and saves but gives a rebound. #19 jumps on the rebound at the 2 and taps in the goal 3-1
  
• More defending, many bad shots by Bulverde, lots of bitching by the fat guy that was offsides 3 times- come on how else was the fat guy gonna get open?  Lots of Mr. T jogging to get the wide shots
• Minutes left and FS clear a ball and the wife beater who complained about us walking, starts walking after the ball- Mr. T picks up a ball and says "Do you want this ball?"  Asshole starts running after the ball
• 1 minute left and Bobby1 handily wins a ball at midfield and is clear on a breakaway, the defender he badly beat sweeps his leg from behind in what might have been the dirtiest tackle in a long time-  Ref finally breaks out his cards and it is straight red
  
• Final 3-1
  

Lineup                    Bench

GK Mr. T                  AWhite
FB/RH Bergman   Romo
FB Bobby2
SW Jacobs
ST  Kneals
CM Bobby1
LH Jihad
RH/CM #19
F  Bodo

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Goals: Bodo 1(2) Kneals 1(1) #19 1(8)
Assts: Bodo 1(1)
Allowed: Mr. T 1(2)

Cards: None- best ref we have had all season

Awards n Shit

Offensive MVP: Bobby1- guy was a fucking maniac when shorthanded taking on 3 guys at a time- No way we win this game if doesn't play
Honorable Mention: Kneals and Bodo's goals were both above the FSFC perceived skill level

Defensive MVP: Jacobs-  Playing sweep for 85 minutes, shorthanded with a broked toe will win you this everytime
More than Honorable Mention: MR. T, Bobby2, Kneals and Bergman

Goal of the Game: Bodo- 0-0 game and his brilliant crack that changed the entire course of the game- Great fucking shot and a tone setter

Quote of the Game:  Jacobs "I broke my toe" #19 "Well I am not exactly the doctor here, but don't take your shoe off at halftime b/c we don't have any players"

Opposing Player Quote of the Game: Wife Beater guy that bitched and moaned the entire game throwing Mr. T and Jacobs into fits of laughter just after the game
"You guys didn't win the game, the ref won it for you" after 2-0 with 9 players was gently explained to him he also comes back with  "You guys have never beaten us"
3-0 against you boys and Reza had no problem letting his bitch ass know it

Lineup                             Bench
GK Pblische                    Kblisch
FB  Berardo                     Alex
FB  Bergman                   Bobby2
SW Mr. T
ST  Jacobs
HB Biz
HB AWhite
CM #19
CM Romo
F     Bodo
F     Jihad

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Goals: Pblische 2(3) #19 1(7) Alex 1(2)
Assts: Pblische 1(2) #19 1(3) Kblische 1(2)
Allowed: Pblische 4(4) Mr. T 1(1)

Yellow Pills: Pblische 1(1) Berardo 1(1) Biz 1(1)
Red Pills: Berardo 1(1) Biz 1(1) Mrs. Biz 1(1)

Awards n Shit

Offensive MVP- Pblische
Defensive MVP- Mr. T
Goat of the Game-  Mrs. Biz- my new favorite person-  getting tossed as a hungover spectator just a mere hours after winning the Drunken Asshole award.  This feat will go unmatched for many years.
Goal of the Game- #19- not b/c of the finish but b/c of the ridiculous dribbling of Pblische to set up the easy goal

Beer VP- Bodo- hosting the lake party makes this the clear winner

9:00 a.m. SA Old School vs Fading Stars

• In the pregame meeting with Gary, he announces that this is a new/old team that is just starting- #19 thanks Gary for the cupcake as things have been rough
• FSFC roll out a makeshift lineup with 6 idiots still putting on their boots- Old School runs out 9 plus a goalie- 10 if you count the really fat guy
  
• Once things settle in it becomes apparent that Old Skool is going to run a trap all the way up to midfield- not the best idea when playing without a left hb
• Section 1 for Jacobs and Darilek: 6 offsides later the FSFC break thru and #19 gets 1v1 with the keeper who slides at #19 who plays the ball wide, jumps and the keeper grabs his ankle- #19 keeps going and by the time he gets the ball he bodo'd his angle to shoot- #19 drops it to a wide open Jihad who misses the shot
• FSFC keep pressing and eventually the ball ends up on the boot of CRex who shoots, gets it blocked, recovers the ball, knocks it around, then finally CHIPS a left footer into the upper 90 1-0 FSFC
• Old School keep pressing offensively and really aren't paying much attention to defense-
• Section 2 for Jacobs and Darilek -  FSFC win a corner in the box- #19 chases the ball 40 yards onto the other field and is forced to run all the way back to the corner to take the kick.  #19 takes a beautiful bending corner- of course the ball was sposed to start bending at the endline and not the 18- anyways Old School easily transitions the ball all the way to the FSFC 18 where they fuck it up-  Are you two ass clowns happy?
• FSFC keep defending and getting called offsides
• Jacobs gets a yellow card for sexually harrasing an old school player
  
• Finally a dangerous ball gets played into the box and the keeper chargers it, collides with his own defender and ABobby1, the ball pops loose and is corralled by the sweeper inside the 6, #19 pressures the sweeper who is able to dribble wide of the goal and he clears the ball right into a jumping #19's Ass-  Ball takes a sweet carom off of the freshly shaved right butt check of #19 who manages to skillfully masse the ball around the post and into the net-  ASS GOAL 1 FSFC 1 Old School 0
•  Halftime FSFC 2 Old School 0
• FSFC Make it Rain
• Biz gets loose down the right half, beats his last defender and puts a beauty cross into the box- #19 chests the ball down and slots the ball between the charging keeper and defender into the net- FSFC 3 Hangover was funnier 0
• ABobby1 gets loose outside the 18, dribbles some folks and unleashes a low cracker that easily beats the keeper 4-0
• Biz gets loose down the right half again, beats his defender and crosses only this time his cross is a low spinner that somehow finds its way an inch inside the post 5-0
• Old School play the kickoff deep to their forward who easily beats 3 defenders and a lethargic keeper 5-1
• Bergman decides to get into the goal fray and starts pushing up from the sweeper spot- Awhite plays a ball to Bergman who takes it deep in the box and lays the ball back to the 18 where  #19 one times the pass into the netting 6-1 
• Jacobs starts getting into it with the old school forward that scored- forward fouls the shit out of Jacobs on  50/50 ball- they kiss and make up
• Jihad gets sprung- did i mention they were still trapping at midfield?  Jihad is ahead of the defender and all that is between him and goal is green dirt and the keeper-  Keeper charges and Jihad hits a beauty chip that hits center netting 7-1
• Up 7-1 Romo insists that we start practicing getting called offsides some more
• Old School counters and Jacob's favorite forward is bringing the ball across the 18- Berryman fouls the shit out of the forward causing him to collapse like a pile of shit the guy grabs the ball with his hands and Jacobs decides that clearing the ball is the appropriate play-  Jacobs kicks the ball while it is in his hands and it finds a nice resting spot on the guys nose- 
  
• He gets up pushes Jacobs, does the manly wait for my teamates to grab me before talking shit move-  Both get yellow cards and Jacobs gets a red card up 7-1
• FINAL FSFC 7 SA Old School 1
  

Lineup

GK Ken Blische
FB Bergman
FB Berryman
ST/SW Darilek
CM CRex
CM ABobby1
HB Bobby2
HB Biz
F #19
F Jihad

Bench
Jacobs
Berardo
AWhite
Romo
Kneals

Goals: #19 3(6) ABobby1 1(1) CRex 1(1) Jihad 1(2) Biz 1(2)
Assts: Biz 2(3) AWhite 1(1) Bergman 1(1)
GAllowed: Ken Blische 1(11)

Cards
Yellow Pills Jacobs 1(1)
Red Pills: Jacobs 1(1)

Awards n Shit

• This is much easier to write after a win
• The offense woke up- about fucking time
  

Offensive MVP: Biz- 2 Assists and a cross/goal
Defensive MVP: Berryman for getting Jacobs tossed
Tackle of the Game: Berryman- the dirty slide tackle that led to the ejection of Jacobs
Goal of the Game: The ASS GOAL- GAME WINNER
Goat of the Game: #19 for the Beasley like corner that damn near led to a goal
Pussy of the Game: Bobby2- a pink fucking chair to sit in? next thing you know you are gonna be rooting for that fag school in Austin while wearing your PETA shirt and petting your My Little Pony doll
Asshole of the Game: Jacobs- how the fuck do you get tossed from a game up 7-1?

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Military FC

• For the first time in a long time the FSFC have 13 people at the pitch for the kickoff- helps that the game was delayed 6 minutes for the Military boys- Game starts 9 v 11
• #19 plays the opening tap to Romo, Romo passes to Bobby1, Bobby 1 dribbles two defenders plays a thru ball to #19 who runs it down inside the 18 and rips a wicked toe poke that catches the keeper napping 1-0 -  19 seconds in 
  
• Game settles down after that- FSFC fail to put the hammer down as the ball spends too much time on the outside halfs
• Military FC bring on their full load of players and the game is pretty even, however the FSFC offense is still stuck in the season long sputter as several people still don't understand the offsides rule
• Glass Darilek goes out with another boo boo and the middle of the defense collapses-  Military play a cross to the top of the 18 to the wide open CM who turns and shoots giving Ken zero chance at the side netter 1-1
• Minutes before halftime the Military HB plays a sky ball to FSFC 35, Jacobs mistimes his jump, the ball lands at the feet of the forward who takes off on a breakaway- Ken is unable to get down on the shot and the game is now 2-1 Military
• Halftime
  
• FSFC take control of possesion and work the ball effectively around the pitch-  Big weakness in the defense on the Military right side as the HB refused to cross midfield-
• Bobby2 starts to exploit this winning multiple balls eventually Bobby2 gets off a beauty cross to #19 at the 12 who puts the bounding cross on target but without enough cayanne giving the keeper an easy save
• Jihad gets loose down the left side of the box and is 1v1 with the keeper- his shot goes so wide that Bobby1 tries to run the ball down but can't and its a throw in
• Awhite takes over for Bobby2 on the right half and continues the onslaught-  Awhite crosses to #19 at the top of the box who sends a ball into the box where Bobby1 and Bodo fight over the loose ball with Bodo winning the ball and getting off a shot that the keeper gets a finger tip on and the ball misses by 2 inches
• Ball gets worked around the pitch and Romo plays a ball to Bobby1 at the 18, Bobby1 dummies the ball allowing #19 to run on to it and he is 1v1 with the keeper- keeper gets down low and #19's chip is flatter than the new girl at Hooters- nice save
  
• Down 2-1 with about 15 minutes left, FSFC win a corner from the left side-  Berardo, playing Left FB decides to take the kick leaving only Darilek and Tommy back at  midfield-  9 men pushed up and you can guess the result
• Berardos corner is played high and too far out and is easily cleared by Military defender who plays it to midfield and the race is on-  The entire left side of the pitch is vacant except for 2 Military players and a 5 v 1 situation ends in the third goal 3-1
• FSFC try to comeback, AWhite gets loose again down the right side, passes to #19 who passes to a wide open Bobby1 inside the 18- Bobby1's first touch is too rough and he is forced to settle the ball down before shooting wide of the net
• All she wrote
  
• FSFC 1 Military FC 3
  

Lineup                          Bench

GK Ken                       Bodo
FB  Berardo               AWhite
FB  Bergman             Tommy
SW Jacobs               
ST   Darilek
HB  Bobby2
HB  Jihad
CM  Kneals
CM  Bobby1
F      #19
F      Romo

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Goals #19 1(3)
Assts Bobby1 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(10)

Cards- None Fucking Amazing to have an English speaking ref

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Awards n Shit

• Our offense is beyond terrible- 6 gimme goals, terrible offsides and just downright shit finishing
  
• Our defense is getting killed by stupidity and bad luck which are essentially the same thing
  
• Offensive MVP: Bobby1and Bobby2
• Defensive MVP: Jacobs- but not by much
• Quote of the Game: Ken- During the halftime dance contest- something about dancing a Jig and the other team
• Goat of the Game: Bodo- showing up right at 9 and forgetting your boots
• Goal of the Game: Toe Poker
• Tackle of the Game: Berardo and his spinning crane kick
  

9:00 a.m. Fading Stars vs Los Bomberos

• FSFC start the adventure with 6 field players for a good 10 minutes and don't even give up a shot
• Bobby2 saunters to the field, puts on his tennis shoes and makes 7
• AWhite and Bodo arrive smelling of cheap booze and robster craws giving us 9
  
• FSFC get the first shot of the game as Bobby2 gets loose on a long ball and misses wide by inches
• Still no shots for the Los Bomberos when TRex finally gets to the pitch
• Now we can play-  TRex settles a ball at the 18 and hits a crack that the keeper dives to save- Jihad corrals the rebound and shoots it on frame only to be cleared by the defender right to Bodo who tucks the loose ball inside the post 1-0
• FSFC have done the impossible leading at halftime after playing  short for 25+ minutes
• Halftime 1-0
• 2nd half and no subs, but hey we have 11-  Things are under control defensively as the Bomberos can't do shit
• Handball is ruled at midfield giving the FSFC a free kick-  Berardo chips a thru ball over the offsides trap and TRex runs on to the ball and has a straight line to the keeper-  for once TRex doesn't fuck it up and buries his shot 2-0.
• The game is on cruise control, Trex starts taking players to dribbling school and misses by inches on a nice shot-  game is over as the Bomberos still have zero scoring chances...  and then the fun begins
  
• #19 is called for a foul on a 50/50 ball in the air-  The player #19 fouled , The Twat, decides to start talking shit and puts his finger in #19's face
• #19 knocks the Twats hand down and the Twat kicks #19-  Referee runs over gives the Twat a pink card then gives #19 a pink card for getting kicked-  #19 now understands the Jim Crowe Laws
  
• Down to 9 field players and the defensive shape falls apart
  
• Bomberos get a deep throw in that makes its way into the box where it skims off of Kblische's leg and past Ken for a goal 2-1
• 3 minutes later the Bomberos get a corner kick and somehow they manage to ping pong the ball into the net 2-2
  
• 2 minutes left in the game, the Bomberos take the ball down the left side, cross to the middle where Berryman intercepts and clears the ball 4 yards and right to a Bombero player-  who takes out a pen and paper, writes Berryman a thank you note as he taps the ball in the net  2-3
• Last minute of the game and Kblische goes on a dribbling rampage and eventually draws a foul jsut outside the 18
• Kblische covered in nervous sweat lines up with the potential game saving shot resting on size 7 Ronaldihno replicate shoes-  
• Kblische hits his shot right into the fucking wall- game over thanks for nothing
• But wait theres more, order now and you we will throw in the ball rebounding right to Kblische who pops a floater at the goal that drifts like a monarch butterfly searching for a place to die whilstly landing in the side netting-  3-3
• FSFC manage to turn spin the game like Obama working a white chick and turn a game from an undermanned drubbing into an easy win, then a shitty loss and then into a dramatic game saving draw that only Ken's 17 kids, #19 and Kblische's wife witnessed
  
• Final FSFC 3 Los Bomberos 3

Goals: Bodo 1(1) Trex 1(2) Kblische 1(3)
Assists: Berardo 1(1)
Allowed: Ken 3(7)

Red Pills: #19 1(1)
Yellow Pills: AWhite 1(1)

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AWARDS and Shit

• Starting with 6 and ending with 8 (Tommy got hurted) 3-3 ain't a bad result
• Offensive MVP-  Trex-  the dribbling clinic was nice
• Defensive MVP- Kblische-  despite the own goal playing short ain't fun
• Pussy of the Game-  Darilek- its my birthday I don't want to play
  
• Goat of the Game- #19 getting kicked and tossed spoiled the party
• Goal of the Game- Kblische and his well planned free kick
  

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Linuep

GK Ken
ST/SW Kblische
FB  Tommy
FB  Berryman
CM Jihad
CM   Berardo
CM   #19

Bench
Bobby2
AWhite
Bodo