It was a brisk fall morning sometime in the fall of 93 that would stand as one of the greatest told F.S.F.C. moments ever. For some reason the night before I had chosen to partake in adult beverages at the domicile of one Jay King.  Since we had a 9am game time I decided to crash on his couch, a decision that would certainly affect the game. You see I wouldn’t have made that decision if I had known that Mr. King didn’t believe in central heating, and only owned a crocheted oven mitt for bedding. So yes I froze my ass off, and got little sleep.

The game itself was started with little fan fare other than the Shrek looking ref (the one that had the same dental work as a jack-o-lantern) had made couple of questionable calls. The opposing team had a tall skinny striker he apparently had a bad night as well because he was a little chippy, and like to hack. About midway through the first half that speed merchant Migjet steals the ball from Chip, and take the ball up field, Chip gets angry at the sudden dispossession, and decides to take a swipe at Migjet’s cankles.

Migjet has nothing to do with this, and turns to Chip waving his finger.Chip decides to bow up, and take acceptation to Mignet’s scorn. At this point I sleepless in San Antonio decided to interject. I come between the two, inserting my out stretched hands into Chip’s chest, and proclaim “don’t mess with my dad”. Chip decides that instead of a peaceful resolution to this quarrel he decides to unload a haymaker. Yours truly does his best Sugar Ray, and side steps the would be swipe, and comes up with a hay maker all his own which till this day I’m sure that my knuckle imprint in his nasal cavity can be identified thru forensic science.

Silly Chip takes said blow, takes two steps back, rolls his eyes back in his head (probably wondering to god why I missed out on sleep), and falls down. The chaos that in sued can only be described as being a bystander at an Irish pub when the bar keep claims there’s no Guinness left. Eric comes barreling into the fray with a solid right footed shot to poor Chips lifeless body. I guess since Eric had missed so many wide open goals in his life he might as well take a crack at an empty netter. I’m sure that there were a few more blows from others.

By the time the ambulance arrived Shrek the ref still couldn’t figure out who he wanted to toss. He did manage to throw a red card to Chip lying on the bleachers with his nose by his left ear. Then finds me on the field, and ask me in my pink Taco Cabana jersey that who in fact had started the fracas. I explained to Shrek that Chip had started it, I finished it, and that he was as good at reffing soccer, as he was at reffing boxing. That my friend is why I got the red card not for the Tyson-esque blow, but for dissent.

Jump a few weeks later when I get a call from Migjet seems Chip’s mommy wanted action. The kind of action that seemed ok to put a hell raiser like Migjet in the Bexar county cooler. I was asked to write a letter as a character witness on behalf of Migjet, and I in the same light didn’t want to incriminate myself, because I like the fact I was an anal virgin, and thought that time in the pen for punching D-bag Chip wasn’t worth more than a silly bar story. I turned in a letter written by a St. Mary’s professor who had been gracious enough to help me, and my plight. Week or so later the case got thrown out.

A few lessons were learned that day; 1) I never threw another punch. 2) I’m so happy that Jay found someone to turn him on to heating and blankets. 3) Chip was never seen again. 4)  Migjet has his fingerprints on file for that future charge of sexual misconduct. 5) And finally nobody mess with my dad!!!

 Kendall

Coming soon the team that kicked there own ass at halftime, and what I did that drew my six month suspension from Carlos.